Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Hump-less Camels

Being that its earth day, I'd like to share a little gardening update!
Remember how this year around I decided to plant everything indoors until it was warmer out? Remember how I made cute little paper roll planters for each plant?
Yeah, well... they fail. Like epic didn't-hold-water-worth-crap kind of fail. Like no joke, these planters were the birth child of a hump-less camel and an upside down pitcher plant! But, lesson learned, when it comes to seedling planters don't go cheap, by the premade ones. 
So, the only things that lasted were my potted plants (my herbs and blackberries) and now I am in a rush to build the garden beds (which I was going to wait to build until the seedlings got big enough to transplant) so that I can plant new seed directly into the ground with some starter soil, blood meal, and some home-made compost.

After doing a bit of research I have decided to go with non-pressure treated wood for the beds so that our garden can be as organic as possible. We do plan on painting the outside with a low-voc exterior paint to help reduce the inevitable rot that non-pressure treated wood gets and to make the beds look prettier. It’s not as protective or nice as an exterior stain and sealant would look but the best we can do with an organic raised bed. I'll go more into the beds when we build them though. For now, I'm just trying to figure out how we are going to get any crop at all by May. *sigh*. Well... this is real freaking life and I wouldn't feel right not sharing every part of it with you all so there’s that.

Happy earth day! Get out, enjoy God amazing creating, pick a flower, have a picnic... he made it for you after all <3.

Monday, April 21, 2014

My Little Botanist

I have a little Botanist on my hands. Buttons favorite places by far are the ones that either includes lots of other small children to 'study' (because he never plays with them as much as he studies what they do and tries to touch their faces. ha) or any place with tons of plants. 
I'm not sure where his fascination with small things that grow comes from. I think it is God ordained. Ha.
This kid could (and has) spend hours at the national arboretum or the national botanical gardens. Those are by far his favorite places thus far. In fact, I used to take him to the butterfly house in the national natural living museum until he became more interested in the planets in it then the butterflies! We are just so blessed to live so close to so many wonderful gardens, parks, and plant related places. 
I can't wait to see the person he becomes. He is changing so much but in other ways, like his passion for pants, he just seems to grow more and more the same. :)

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Getting Out

One way I have been trying to move past this pain is to fill my days to the max. I'm not sure if this is the healthiest healing method but, to be honest, my head and eyes and soul heart from so many tiers and am a suppressive crier. Meaning I can't (or it’s hard to) cry in public... so, I take Button out every day. To the park, the library, the museum, the grocery store, whatever; just out.
On the plus side, he is learning and staying the joyous social butterfly he's always been. Button loves it; and mommy is learning to too! 

While I was physically healing from my loss my mother came to stay. It was such a blessing and not to be forgotten for a long time.

 Although it was due to such a sad event, her timing was so right in more than one way, she made sure I got out. She helped me stay active and focus on the good, the ever changing blessings of each day. 

During her stay the cherry blossoms were in full bloom. I had asked her earlier in the year if she and my father could make it to the cherry blossom festival and parade they have each year here but they were unable to make it. 

This year the cherry trees bloom early. By about a month early, actually, so my mother got to see them in all their glory and take it all in. The happiness of seeing something so new and beautiful by both my mother and son really made me enjoy our time together even that much more. 

Now the cherry trees are full of green, no softer, snowy blossom; not even a hint. All the petals that once blanketed the park are now gone. I honestly have no idea where they went so fast but that is time. Things change, we grown. Things that were once delegate become dignified, things that were once thought dead now bare life. I too will change and I too will grow from this. Out of the snow the spring comes and out of my pain my strength in God grows.

Friday, April 18, 2014

Day By Day

I know that I have been gone for a while. I have so much to catch up on but our little family has been going through some hardships.  We lost our expecting child. I am just taking it one day at a time right now and trying to see the blessing I have each day.

I try to see the world the way my darling Button sees the world; so full of life, adventures, and small joys. Each day is so fresh and new to him and pains are so fleeting. I want to live that way. To find joy in the now and let these pains fly away... but it’s hard. His smile helps remind me of how blessed I am to have such a wonderful son and to be thankful for the child I have now.

I know I can't change the past. Accepting the way things are is probably the hardest part (besides the physical pain I went though). People talk about a miscarriage all the time, how it was hard for them to let go and except things and in a way, it made it easier for me to except that. It's still taking a toll and I'm not sure I'll be emotionally stable for a while, but it has helped. But, one thing I was not prepared for was the physical pain. I had labor. LABOR. Extreme cramping, back labor, feeling of vomiting, birthing the placenta.... labor. I wasn't ready for that. I wasn't ready to deal with the pain of birth without seeing my little one at the end of that pain.  I physically felt like I should have my child, my heart didn't not just urn for it , my body did; I wasn't prepared for that. I don't know if that is how most miscarriages happen because no one talks about that. No one tells you it’s like giving birth with empty arms. I feel I need to share that, so that maybe it will easy someone else pain. Nothing can truly ease the pain but time and faith but I hope, in a way, that it can enlighten another person and help them not feel as alone.
Taking it one day at a time and holding my sweet Button and Darling helps me see the joy in each day and I know that one of these days it won’t be hard to see a pregnant mother on the street or newborn at the park anymore. One day we will be there ourselves again and have that joy but for now these are the joys I have. These are the blessings the Lord has given me and I will learn to delight in them and sing "God is good... ALL THE TIME". 

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Seedy Behavior

The days are getting warmer and growing season is here at last; indoor that is. 
Darling and I picked up some seeds and soil today and as soon as we were home I took everything to the basement and got down and dirty.

After making toilet paper rolls into little potters I planted each seed and labeled them for later. Then I moved everything to containers and bases for water control. 

For now everything is being grown inside until the weather warms up a bit more and until the little seedlings sprout. The large pot in the container that looks like it has a sideways stick in it is really a transplanted blackberry sprout! This is my first time growing anything other than veggies and herbs so I'm pretty excited about it. I'll have to transplant it again into a much larger pot once it is bigger but I can keep it in a pot because it is a thorn-less variety so it can grow as a bush with no problems of stabbing me! 

All the herbs are in the other pots to the right. Here is another shot of the veggies. 

It looks like a lot but I am growing three of each so I can later thread out the weaker ones and pick only one or two of each. Also, a bit of them are greens which don't take up nearly as much room as the rest. I just pray I have enough room in the back with pots, our postage stamp yard, and front yard so that everything grows well. 

Here is a list of what we are growing this year:

sweet peppers
winter squash
green beans

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Birthday Button

This past weekend I got to celebrate the one year mark since the birth of my darling Button with some of the most amazing people I know. Though I didn't get a lot of photos, I feel like it was good for me to step away for a while and enjoy just taking in the moments and memories of my sweet little man with the ones we love.
Button had a chocolate and vanilla cupcake and man was he into it. I guess that’s what happens when you've only had sugar two other times in your entire life! Ha. 
After a tasty lunch and cupcakes we all sat around a little before Button got down to opening presence. Baboo (my father) learned that Button's new trick "the gorilla" and then everyone had to join in! 

We set up a little photo booth and though it didn't get used a whole lot, the people who did get some photos done sure seemed to have fun :).

All in all I'd say this party was a success. I feel, in a way, that it marks an end and beginning to a new chapter in our lives. Not just because my darling son is now a toddling toddler (holy cow he really is!) but also because the is the first and only year were we will be parents to just one little munchkin and the first year I get to hear my son actually talk to me. There is just so much maybe’s , could happens and dreams we have for this year and though I know not all will happen I am so full of joy to see what our future will bring and become. 

Friday, March 7, 2014


My darling Button is one! Yesterday was Buttons first birthday, the day I went from having a darling little baby to a toddler... a toddler! :O how did this happen?! I remember his birth story oh so well and yet it seems like he has been a part of my life since forever.

 I can hardly remember, even now, what it was like without my sweet happy boy. What did I do with all that extra time before?! 
My days are now full of chasing little pitter patter-y  feet around, lot of little giggles, smiles, many many messes and diapers, and the occasional wide mouth "kisses" and you know what; I wouldn't tried it for nothing. Well... maybe a nice bath once in a while. Ha. 

The best part? This is just the beginning. I see Buttons strong willed and kind hearted personality more and more every time I look at him and it makes me so proud; nervous, but proud. I know God has so much planed for him our family. I thank God every day that he gave me the gift of knowing what it is like to love someone you have never met so unconditionally the way he has loved us even before our creation, to love the process and not just the outcome of a life and each day. We are so blessed. 

I anticipate so many adventures this coming year. So much growth and change as we take on the world of toddler-dom as well as raising two little ones instead of three but for now, I am so thankful we are where we are at this moment. It is tiring but oh so rewarding!