Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Monday, December 8, 2014
I learned something from my son today. He was standing at the bottom of the stairs struggling to drag a to-large-to-go-up-the-stairs toy up the stairs. As he tugged and cried at his failures I sat at the top of the stairs trying my best to not give in and just take the toy up for him. I cheered him on “you can do it", "that's too big to drag.. Try picking it up darling", "keep trying love... you almost go it" and things like that. As I sat there watching him I thought about Christ. I realized that I am so much still a toddler in my faith. So often I find myself trying to drag my worldly desires up the proverbial stairway to heaven. I frequently find myself crying, pouting at the bottom saying "why can't I have both", "it's to heavy God... Come get us so I can have both!” kicking and throwing a fit. Its ugly guys.
But God is such a loving parent. He knows we need to figure it out on our own. So he sits at the top encouraging us all the way. We need to learn that it’s okay to leave those things at the bottom because (mommy) he will be at the top waiting to (snuggle) hold us. Those things will still be there... downstairs... for us to have, just not then. Sometimes we have to put aside the things we think we want to get the things we really need and desire; that doesn't always mean they won’t be waiting for us later (when we get up from our naps), just that they are weighing us down to get to where we need to go. It so easy to sit at the bottom and cry until someone comes and gets, give you a hand out and picks you up. But, sometimes it’s even more rewarding to learn that it’s okay to let go for a while, to overcome the tantrums and mature in our desires. I learned today, from my son, that I am so often that little toddler at the bottom of the stairs desperately struggling to drag my big massive toys up the stairs... when all I really want and need is the person at the top.
It's been a while, I know, I have been going through some stuff; Mostly about this here blog. I struggle with conflicting feelings. A part of me would never be satisfied without writing; without being heard, but another part longs to be heard and respected, to meet others and grow a community. That other part just doesn't seem to be happening here. So I stepped away for a while to try other things like vloging... but I miss writing. Even if I can't always get things right the first time and people give up on me.... I need to write. I find my emotions are clearer then when I do videos. I feel I can really say things and be myself while typing away. But the struggle is still there. People will come and go because "I have a hard time reading it"... well, I'm trying... and this place is for me too. I won’t be stopping because you are impatient or irritated. The ones that care will push though this struggle with me. I have challenges with writing and grammar... that doesn't make my voice invalid or unworthy; it means I'm human. If you don't like that, I get it. If it's "that bad" for you... move along. My words would be lost to your (most likely) shallow judgment anyways. For those that read regardless, that take me as I am (struggles and all), understand that I am human, I make mistakes... many mistakes, and still read, still sympathies with my views or find joy (or humor) in my story's, my life, then to you I hold the most gratitude. Thank you. Thank you for looking past my flaws and seeing the beauty in my words. Thank you for finding a rose among thorns and cherishing it enough to reach in again for more. You are my jewels; my passion. For you, and myself, I will keep writing. My voice is here.
Sunday, November 2, 2014
I just had to share my adorable little viking with you all.
When I got home Darling took a look at them all and insisted I shared them :D. Button really is so animated and full of joy. Sometimes things don't go the way we want but usually there is always a way to make the best of things; and in this case, perhaps better then the original expectations.
Posted by bethany b at Sunday, November 02, 2014
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
During the last week of Sep. I had the privilege of photographing my second wedding ever and oh my goodness was this couple fun! I had never actually been to a wedding were they had a cake fight but I highly recommended it to every soon to be bride! ha. it was hilarious and awesome to say the least! The couple is super into cars so it was fun to get a more modern and edgy look to this shoot than I normally do. I think it's stretched me in ways; to try and see things differently artistically.
Posted by bethany b at Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Friday, October 10, 2014
As I watch my son interact with others I see how much compassion and changes that are going on around me and in him. Button is growing up so fast and there is just nothing I can do about it but to strive to encourage his caring, adventurous, and curious heart.
We were at the park a couple of days ago and he was so enthralled with learning about and exploring the other children he hardly even played on the jungle gym at all. As always on our park dates, mommy sat back and snapped away while keeping a distant eye on things. What I captured, I pray, will never go away; that is, the spirit of an inquisitive and loving child.
There are so many changes and challenges that come with toddlerhood but I think we are both learning to grow and just find the joys of the little things.
Posted by bethany b at Friday, October 10, 2014